


Diego's random thoughts

by GalaxyPixel



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Diego is rambling, Minor Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Ramblings, don't take it serious, i wrote this in one go, random thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21586378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GalaxyPixel/pseuds/GalaxyPixel
Summary: The things Diego is thinking while he is supposed to do something that Klaus asked him to do.
Kudos: 5





	Diego's random thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> So I just started writing and wrote this down in one session, and apparently it was roughly 900 words. It seemed funny enough to me to share it, don't take it too serious, I just started writing and didn't think at all.

Diego looked at the sight before him. Why did he ever let Klaus talk him into this? Who would even believe him? If he got arrested for this, they would think he was lying and just sent him to the mental ward, or at least a psychiatrist to look him over.

I mean, really Diego? How could you have talked to Klaus, not paid attention and suddenly say yes? You know that’s not a smart thing to do!

‘Oh yes officer, you’d want to know why I am here? Well, it started because I zoned out while listening to my brother, who can talk to ghosts. Yes, I know he can talk to them, he even showed us Ben before. You know Ben? Number six, our dead brother? He died when he was younger than we are now, which makes sense, because we grew up and Ben didn’t. Well, Ben kinda did. How ghosts grow up, I have no idea, honestly officer.’

He snorted. They would think he was on crack or something, especially with the white stuff on his clothes, and the fact that Klaus was known for being a drug addict. He was clean now though! That was something! All because he met this guy in the Vietnam War, why none of them ever realised he had been there until weeks after the apocalypse, and he loved the guy and wanted to see him again. Wow, talk of good motivation. Should’ve thought of that sooner. Just start loving a dead guy, besides Ben of course. He always could see Ben apparently. Which wasn’t fair, they hadn’t seen Ben in forever, not until Klaus made him visible, but Klaus just always saw him! That’s not fair, Ben was his brother too, he could’ve shared, or at least told him Ben was there. Might have saved him the embarrassment.

He continued walking, really, how Klaus and Allison could walk in heels he’d never know. Vanya didn’t really wear heels, wasn’t practical during her concerts or rehearsals, and she wasn’t comfortable in them. And you can’t run in heels, unless you’re experienced, or named Klaus. Really, Klaus could do anything if he put his mind to it. Why he decided to stay an addict so long was confusing to Diego, Klaus survived on the streets so long, he could survive in college. I mean, dad left them enough money to go to college. And there was probably an artsy study or something he could do, that didn’t involve drugs. He would see dead people a lot more though, but not if he went now! He did meditation and apparently that helped. Diego didn’t fully understand, but well, he never saw ghosts.

He threw knives, but nowadays he wasn’t so sure anymore. I mean, vigilantes don’t walk in heels right? Its so hard to run in them, like, without breaking your ankles. And Allisson wears them to galas and red carpets?! He could never understand them. Not his sisters, because Vanya didn’t wear them, and Klaus did. Maybe Klaus is like half his sister, because he wears skirts and heels and make up. No wait, that’s ridiculous, Vanya isn’t a boy either for never wearing dresses. That’s a stupid way of looking at it Diego, be honest. Klaus is your brother, and if he isn’t, then he’ll tell you.

But he’s your brother though, he keeps telling you how he loved the fact that his unit knew he and Dave were gay with each other but didn’t care. That is true friendship right there, because gays weren’t that accepted back in the day. Good thing Diego is here right now accepting them. Not that he is gay, no of course not. He just appreciates the male body, like from that guy he met last week, Frank? Or Dean? Or both? And male can give good head, same as women. It doesn’t make a real difference, with guys you can still top. Okay, maybe he is slightly gay.

Isn’t there a word for that? Not gay, but not straight either? Little bit of both? Bothsexual? NO, that sounds like you’re into boats. Bad Diego, that’s just wrong. Well, what is it then? It did starts with a b. Busexual? No, sounds like if you don’t spell it as if you’re into busses. Hmm, be? Nah, sounds like a sheep. Bi? Bi? That’s it! Bisexual! Well, Diego just figured out his sexuality. Congratulations my dear. He can’’ wait to tell Klaus that he was right, that Diego isn’t fully straight either!

Wait, he should wait. He was on a mission, an important one. Which involved wearing purple heels, big ass heels. Why did he accept the ones Klaus gave him? He should’ve just asked Allison for a pair, she wouldn’t mind, would she? At least he didn’t have to buy them, that would be a waste of money. Or he gave them to Klaus later as a birthday gift, that could work! Yeah, but it wasn’t necessary this time, because he already wore heels that Klaus owns. Okay, next time! Next time Klaus talks him into doing something stupid like this, and he needs nail polish or a skirt or heels, he’ll buy it and then give it to Klaus, for compensation.

Wait, what compensation? He should be compensated! He’s the one doing all the dirty work here! Not fair, not fair at all. Oh shit, they’re coming close! Stop thinking Diego, stop thinking about the purple heels you’re wearing that Klaus gave you, and the white stuff on your shirt that the cops will think is cocaine. It might even be cocaine, I mean, Klaus helped him get into this. No wait, Klaus is clean, its not cocaine. Yeah, its not. Lets just think the best of everything. No wait, lets not think at all right now, he’s supposed to do this thing. Mind, turn off, Diego has a thing he needs to do, for Klaus.


End file.
